pleasure in pain

image/artist: anguish, artist unknown

what pleasure lies there
in the recess of suffering
dormant ... brooding
a dark sort of pleasure

i felt it, you know
invading my brain cells
i WANTED to hurt him --
that weak, vulnerable
and special one

special?
yes ...
meaning --
not like the others

and it felt good
to turn my love for him
into lust for his pain
and then pierce him
with my poisoned arrows

in his retreat
he retaliated
i wished,
in some twisted way,
to see him writhing
see his face contorted in grief
see the tears trickle
from his sad, empty eyes

to know
that i caused him suffering
a great pleasure --
pleasure of pain?