grace grotesquely crumbles

image: artist unknown

your grace crumbled
into grotesque flakes
as your fingertips slashed
my tender silken face
with rage and vengence,
that drench my frail child-spirit

steeped in self-loathing,
you infected me -
impaled
my gauzy soul
on your poisoned barbs
of hatred and lusty greed

once, i loved you -
worshipped you, adored you
and darkness
eviscerated my heart
as i watched this adoration stream past
your inert, stoney heart

my trembling eyes splinter
into a thousand tears
when i look upon your face -
my reflection - in the looking glass
you, who deserted my child-trust -
remain, achingly, ever present

this dark riverbed of adoration
that flowed in my viscera for you
has dried up; my heart --
which once glistened sublimely inside yours,
now lies in eternal anguish:
dessicated, petrified, searingly denuded

your grace crumbles
into grotesque flakes
of grief, rage and greed,
soaked in the brine of remorse
you beg, like i did, for a morsel of mercy
but -- i will STARVE you of forgiveness

~+++~

ABOUT THIS POEM: about abuse, betrayal, remorse and begging for mercy, and, about the fact that some things just cannot be forgiven. now matter how remorseful the perpetrator. no one can be more manipulative than the abusive parent and his/her enabler.